April 04, 2008

The Great Software Installation

Home sweet home... is what I feel once in a blue moon, it’s when I rush to home to refresh Dad's and Mom's database.
I was treated as a celebrity, its not quite often they get to treat their son... thatz why...
This time my visit meant a lot for Dad and Mom, as they have planned something for me....
The conversation which happened was quite expected, if it was said in IT terminology it would have looked like this:

The agenda of the topic was about installing new software into the Laptop (me)
Database base administrator (DBA, mom) had invited Software quality analyst (SQA, Sis) for the discussion. The discussion was supervised by Chief Information Officer (Dad).

DBA: Son Laptop, We know you are meant for computation on mobility, but its time you decided to install software WIFE 1.0 into ur hard disk

Laptop: Nop DBA, I strongly feel I have no space in ma hard disk at this moment.
DBA: No Son, u can compress few data's as well as delete unwanted softwares.
Laptop: I doubt if WIFE 1.0 will be compatible with my processor. I need upgraded to the latest version before…
SQA: Nop Bro, your system is all set to accept the new software, U have required resource, and capacity with in you to run this software, with out any serious issues.
Laptop: Still the antivirus software won't enable me to install WIFE1.0
SQA: Eyebrow rose... Do you have a Girlfriend 1.0 version installed in you?
Laptop: Rejecting the system access request to SQA, and denying any further permission

CIO after hearing this conversation interferes

CIO: Son whatz bugging you about this installation
Laptop: CIO, I am afraid if I install wife1.0 it will give few unexpected errors.
More over in addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity.
DBA : So???
SQA: But this patch can be disabled if laptop has a strong hard drive, and prevent unwanted installation.(SQA is quite intelligent, she is the operating system in Laptop Bro-in-law)
DBA Approves SQA's comments.
Seeing installation of software nearing, Laptop throws in few more exception errors in front of all
Laptop: More over Saturday sports bar 6.3 will be uninstalled automatically, instead Saturday shopping 7.1 is installed.Boys Night out 2.0 will be uninstalled with out permission, and batch run time and applications like Late Night office 2.0 will be uninstalled.
CIO passes a smile, but SQA and DBA are furious. Questions start pouring out on the software Boys night out 2.0.They were wondering how AuntyCheck1.0 software failed to investigate this job running in laptop.
Laptop: CIO, uninstalling this software will impact system performance and CPU usage would rise drastically. More over desktop screensavers like French beared, coloured hair, underlip ghoti will no longer be available. faded laptop case will have to be replaced with a professional looking case.
Laptop sends in an encrypted message to CIO which said: CIO, monthly lubricating softwares like Kingfisher 1.0, Foster 2.0 will no longer be available.
Laptop continued this time the target was SQA and DBA...

Laptop: We can forget all these impact, will software WIFE1.0 be compatible with DBA and SQA. Will WIFE1.0 give permission to DBA and SQA to access laptop any more? We may have to install a lot of patches when ever there is an authority conflict.

DBA was quick to take a note of it, I have lot of patches with me, and you just need to forget about it.Laptop is shocked, system becomes slow…
CIO : Son Laptop, its high time you installed software WIFE1.0, I know you have been accessing the world wide web and trying to install Girlfriend1.0, and I am not sure, if its already installed or not. Son remember some time GIRLFRIEND 1.0 are quite unstable software, and I know they will be replaced with version 2.0. 3.0 etc, but remember son, some can be virus also.
We can’t afford the loss of this customised laptop.
Do give a rethink about this installation, son. We need to invite proposals from various software vendors. Meanwhile you are a standalone system now, you now need to upgrade to a server and have few local area networks connected to your sever. You need to upgrade son.

Laptop was confused; he started connecting to fellow laptops all around the world. Some of his beloved laptops were upgraded to a server already, Laptop contacted everyone...
Connections were established..... what did the fellow laptops say....?
unconventional end.. read the comment tag to know more....


sandeep said...

good good :) so ... when is the software install gonna happen? all the best for the bidding process :)

Riva said...

yeah the everyday slang sorta crept in :D

thanks for stopping by neway :)

Flyaway Mind said...

ahem..ahem...happy installation!!!
when's part-2 ??? ;)

nostringsattached said...

lol...hope the climax of the series is not the naming ceremony of a PDA...

Fresh Lime Soda said...

Thanks All for the comments..

Even after ma frnds advice i was not able to convience anyone.. but there was one who was able to convience all.. the greats stars.. they played the spoil sport in the match.. and the installation is delayed by an year.. hurray.. so was out partying hard... and I am back 2 the blog world...